50 Jokes About Careers & Job Search

Here’s a little list of workplace jokes that made us laugh.

Well, at least smile.

If you can think of more, please let us know in the comments and we can add to the list!

1. I just lost my job as a psychic. I did not see that coming.
2. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
3. I’m looking for a job where I am politely ignored and left to my own devices. With unlimited Internet access, doughnuts, and coffee.
4. Now I’ve gotten into astronomy, and my whole career is looking up.
5. I quit my job working for Nike. Just couldn’t do it anymore.
6. I quit my job at the helium factory.  I refuse to be spoken to in that tone!
7. I love being a maze designer. I get completely lost in my work.
8. I wanted to be a computer programmer, but I couldn’t hack it.
9. I wanted to be a pet groomer, but I couldn’t make heads or tails of it.
10. I got a job as a human cannonball. It was a high-caliber position! But I had a short fuse and got fired.
11. Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
12. Sure I’m willing to work longer hours at work. As long as they’re lunch hours.
13. I think my job interview to be a bug sorter went well. I boxed all the right ticks.
14. Interviewer: What’s your biggest weakness? Me: I don’t know when to quit. Interviewer: You’re hired. Me: I quit.
15. My best job was being a musician, but eventually, I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
16. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patients.
17. I became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
18. Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
19. I’m aspirin’ to be a chemist.
20. I wanted to be a tree doctor but I faint at the sight of sap.
21. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
22. I wanted to get into the engineering field, but I burned too many bridges.
23. I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn’t up to it.
24. I got fired as a yoga instructor.  And I bent over backwards for those people!
25. I thought about being a knife-maker. I made great blades, but I just couldn’t handle it.
26. I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
27. I got fired from the unemployment office, and still had to show up the next day.
28. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
29. I applied for a job in Australia but seems I don’t have the right koalifications.
30. I worked at Krispy Kreme, but I quickly got fed up with the hole business.
31. Being friends with co-workers is like having pet tigers…. fun in theory but you still wonder when they will turn on you.
32. I had a job making stationery, but I quit because it wasn’t going anywhere.
33. I had a job at MinuteMaid orange juice. I got fired because I couldn’t concentrate.
34. I became an archaeologist. Before long, my career was in ruins.
35. I used to be a postman until I got the sack.
36. I was a dentist for a while, but it was like pulling teeth.
37. I worked at the bank as a teller for a while…until I starting losing interest.
38. I wanted to be a baker, really kneaded the dough.
39. I considered telemarketing, but it wasn’t my calling.
40. I didn’t like my job as a waiter. But at least I was putting food on the table.
41. I was training to be a sound technician, but I couldn’t handle feedback.
42. I thought I did a good job as an attorney, but the jury’s still out.
43. I thought about fortune-telling, but I couldn’t make a prophet and didn’t see a future in it.
44. I focused on being a photographer, but nothing ever developed.
45. After that, I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.
46. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax.
47. After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
48. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
49. Then I tried to be a chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.
50. Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

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