Do you find yourself reading buzzwords, fluff and jargon on both resumes and job adverts? Then this little study by Monster UK is for you, they have compiled some of the recurring blunders both recruiters and jobseekers make when writing up documents.

Recruiters love jargon and cliches, you may have come across gems such as:

  • Hit the ground running
  • Laser-focused
  • Penetrate the market
  • Viral learnings
  • Need an idea ‘with legs’

Some jobseekers actually put stuff like this on their resumes:

  • A claim to have experience in arctic warfare
  • Explaining the knowledge of origami at length
  • Listing “nice to children, animals and old people” as a skill
  • Writing a full resume in texting language
  • Including one’s ear size measurement
  • Achievement: “successfully putting daughter to bed over 100 times”

Related: 7 Resume Mistakes You Probably Didn’t Realize

The original Undercover Recruiter, after 7 years in tech recruiting Jorgen now runs Link Humans, a social media agency in London.