The 20 Worst Excuses for Throwing a Sickie

We’ve all wanted at one point to just stay in bed and not go into work when our alarm rings through our head in the morning – whether it be due to illness, or you just want a day off.

However, if you want your sick day request to be accepted, you need a good, honest excuse.

Activ Absence recently undertook research amongst HR managers at this year’s CIPD Annual Conference, and ask them for the worst excuse they had heard to have a day off work.

The top five excuses were:

1) I don’t have the bus fare to get to work after my night out:

We’ve all made the mistake of going out on a work night, but people have actually used their alcoholic intake and inability to purchase bus tickets for not making it in the next day.

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2) I dreamed I had come to work, so thought I was there and stayed asleep:

No matter how sleepy you are, or how great your dream is, don’t use it as a reason to not come into work – no-one will believe it without proof.

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3) I went on a sunbed and got sunstroke:

Yes, you’re going on holiday, you’ve told the whole office, but if you’ve spent too much time on sunbeds, that’s your own fault.

4) I lost my flipflop down the side of a train, so I had to go home:

Firstly, why are you wearing flip flops on the way to work? Secondly, what made you lose your flip flop? Was it the cat? It was the cat, wasn’t it?

5) I didn’t have any clean clothes:

Come on, you know that’s no-one’s fault but yours.

Also in the list were pet emergencies – with one employee demanding two weeks bereavement leave after the death of his pet cat and another taking a day off because his ‘hamster seemed sluggish’. Exotic animal bites were blamed, as were dogs fouling clothes and eating car keys.

Absent minds also featured – forgetting where one parked one’s car or losing shoes en route to work always seem to be common excuses. The best excuse of them all, though, was “my boss has given me a headache!”.

The full top 20 excuses read as such:

1. I don’t have the bus fare to get to work after my night out.
2. I dreamed I had come to work, so thought I was there and stayed asleep.
3. I went on a sunbed and got sunstroke.
4. I lost my flipflop down the side of a train, so I had to go home.
5. I didn’t have any clean clothes.
6. My bed was too nice to get out of.
7. Man Utd lost the premiership.
8. I lost my car in the car park (there were only 20 spaces).
9. My television broke.
10. The roof blew off my house!
11. Goats got into my garden.
12. I have a cotton bud stuck in my ear.
13. Fell out of bed and banged my head.
14. I have post coital soreness.
15. I got bitten by a llama.
16. My dog got lost in the snow.
17. My cat had a miscarriage.
18. The dog urinated on my suit.
19. My dog ate my car keys.
20. I don’t think my hamster is well – he seems a bit sluggish this morning.

What’s the worst excuse you’ve ever heard? Let us know on Twitter to @UndercoverRec!

READ MORE: 10 Sick Day Excuses You Wish Would Fly