35 Things You Absolutely Must Decide on Before Being Hired

One of my favourite sites, Happy Place, posted 35 (other) things you absolutely MUST agree upon before getting married based on a Hufftington Post article. I decided this was a great list but it needed another scenario.

Therefore, I came up with 35 things you must decide on before being hired – imagine this being asked in a final interview:

  1. Why is it open source if companies take the software and then sell it? (i.e. Linux RedHat, MongoDB…)
  2. What’s your office stimulant of choice: Starbucks, Red Bull, Adderall or Cocaine?
  3. Grumpy Cat or Office Cat?
  4. Did Han Solo or Greedo shoot first?
  5. Is stealing code off GitHub okay if you’re lazy?
  6. Let’s talk internships: hot co-ed with no skills or skilled intern whose face was lit on fire and put out with a wire brush and a tennis racquet?
  7. If we hire a new developer, how long until we make them code for 12 hours straight with no breaks?
  8. iOS, Android or are you a loser with, like, a Nokia or something?
  9. You’re supposed to be working but you’re on Reddit, Facebook, Digg or…4Chan?
  10. Star Trek, Star Wars, or both?
  11. There’s been an apocalypse. We have one can of Red Bull left. Will you or me stay awake long enough to drink it?
  12. When you finish your breakfast, do you have more syrup stains or a mouth stained by a sugared cereal?
  13. If you were to perpetrate an office massacre, would you kill indiscriminately or the people who wronged you, like that hottie in accounting who won’t even speak with you?
  14. YouPorn or XHamster?
  15. NASA or FEMA?
  16. Cartoon Network or Lifetime?
  17. When the office gets too messy, do we move? Or burn it down then move? Or shove everything in a desk drawer in reception?
  18. Harry Potter: the books or the audio books? If you answered the movies, you’re already out.
  19. You’re on the toilet making a horrible, sinful poop. Your boss walks in. Pucker or let ‘er rip?
  20. Ian McKellan or Patrick Stewart?
  21. Shower or Grower?
  22. Ancient Aliens: Did they build the Mayan and Aztec Ziggurats or just the Pyramids?
  23. If you had a time machine, would you go back and kill Hitler or would you prevent Windows Vista?
  24. Austin Powers or James Bond?
  25. Craft Brew or PBR?
  26. Eating Habits: Vegan, Freegan Vegetarian, Pescaterian or Not an asshole?
  27. Better on hipsters: skinny jeans or unquenchable flames?
  28. Who killed JFK? Oswald, Illuminati, The Mafia or the ZOG?
  29. Teaser, pleaser, shocker or spocker?
  30. If you run out of clean plates do you: do dishes, make one out of Legos, or eat off discarded junk mail?
  31. Justin Bieber or a cat in a canvas sack being beaten with sticks?
  32. Palm Pilot or Blackberry?
  33. Skin that looks like leather or a leather outfit made out of human skin?
  34. Put the lotion in the basket or do you prefer the hose, for a second time?
  35. When sharing a meal with a joint check, do you round your share or contribute exactly the amount, to the penny, of your share?

Anymore questions? Leave them in the comments below!

By Jeffrey Newman

Jeff Newman a.k.a. The People's Recruiter, has been a Full Life Cycle IT Recruiter and Full Desk Placement expert for over 14 years. He prides himself on always making sure that what he is offering a candidate is an Opportunity and not just another job. He is a Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist at Mobiquity. Watch Jeff live on stage: "Recruiters: The Good, The Bad, and the Devious."