5 Ways to Scare Away Your Career Mentor

Wherever you are in your career, seeking out a mentor is a great way to boost your career and expand your network. In fact, 75 percent of executives say mentoring plays a major role in their career — and 95 percent of Millennials just starting out their careers want a mentor. Through your mentor, you’ll likely meet new people, learn new skills, and maybe even find new job opportunities.

Sounds pretty straightforward, right?

Well having a mentor doesn’t guarantee automatic success. Being a mentee comes with responsibility and takes care to create a successful relationship. And it can go south fast if you’re not careful.

So make sure you aren’t scaring off your mentor and consider the following behaviors to avoid:

1. Being vague with your needs.

Be specific about what you need from your mentor. These needs could include professional development, access to opportunities and networks, desiring a role model, or even just a safe space to discuss experiences or career issues. Don’t expect your mentor to know or understand automatically just by reading your resume and meeting you. Otherwise, neither of you will gain anything from the relationship and you’ll likely just frustrate them.

2. Not taking advice seriously.

Remember, you’re not the only one in this relationship. So be kind and respectful of your mentor’s time and advice. You might not always like or agree with what they have to say, but that doesn’t mean they’re wrong or trying to hurt you. Carefully consider their advice and be thankful for it. If you brush your mentor off too often, you likely won’t be getting any more help.

3. Calling or emailing too often or too little.

No mentor — or anyone, for that matter — likes someone who contacts them too much. On the other hand, don’t be passive in this relationship either. Your mentor is a working professional and may have his or her own family, so keep that in mind when trying to contact them. It’s helpful to establish communication guidelines at the beginning of the relationship so you know what’s too much (or too little).

4. Expecting help instead of asking for help.

You aren’t necessarily your mentor’s top priority, so be open and vocal when you really need guidance. Your mentor isn’t psychic and won’t always be checking in on you. So leave any feelings of entitlement at the door, or you will only scare your mentor away.

5. Misappropriating or sharing private information.

As previously mentioned, a mentorship is often meant to provide a safe space for conversation. But if you plan on divulging any company secrets or using your mentor’s business ideas as your own, think twice. Misappropriating or sharing private information is probably the single best way to scare off your mentor. If you had a discussion in confidence, keep it that way. You could not only ruin your relationship with your mentor but also their entire network.

Take caution when moving forward with a career mentor. You have a lot to gain from the relationship. But if it goes south, you also have a lot to lose.

Have you ever had a poor experience with your career mentor?

Related: Professionalism in the Workplace: Myth, Mystery, or a Must? 

By Heather R. Huhman

Heather R. Huhman is a career expert and founder & president of Come Recommended, a career and workplace education and consulting firm specializing in young professionals.