Talent Acquisition

34 Jokes About Careers & Job Search

Here’s a little list of workplace jokes that made us laugh.

Well, at least smile.

If you can think of more, please let us know in the comments and we can add to the list!

  1. I just lost my job as a psychic. I did not see that coming.
  2. Hard work pays off in the future, laziness pays off now.
  3. I’m looking for a job where I am politely ignored and left to my own devices. With unlimited Internet access, doughnuts, and coffee.
  4. If a job’s worth doing, it’s too hard.
  5. I quit my job working for Nike. Just couldn’t do it anymore.
  6. I love being a maze designer. I get completely lost in my work.
  7. I worked very hard to get to where I am in life. An unemployed university graduate.
  8. Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.
  9. Sure I’m willing to work longer hours at work. As long as they’re lunch hours.
  10. I think my job interview to be a bug sorter went well. I boxed all the right ticks.
  11. Interviewer: What’s your biggest weakness? Me: I don’t know when to quit. Interviewer: You’re hired. Me: I quit.
  12. Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax.
  13. After that, I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.
  14. Next, I tried working in a muffler factory but that was exhausting.
  15. I wanted to be a barber, but I just couldn’t cut it.
  16. Then I tried to be a chef–figured it would add a little spice to my life but I just didn’t have the thyme.
  17. Finally, I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.
  18. My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.
  19. I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patients.
  20. I became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.
  21. Thought about becoming a witch, so I tried that for a spell.
  22. I’m aspirin’ to be a chemist.
  23. I wanted to be a tree doctor but I faint at the sight of sap.
  24. I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.
  25. I got a job at a zoo feeding giraffes but I was fired because I wasn’t up to it.
  26. Next, I found being an electrician interesting, but the work was shocking.
  27. After many years of trying to find steady work, I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.
  28. I applied for a job in Australia but seems I don’t have the right koalifications.
  29. Being friends with co-workers is like having pet tigers…. fun in theory but you still wonder when they will turn on you.
  30. I had a job at MinuteMaid orange juice. I got fired because I couldn’t concentrate.
  31. I used to be a postman until I got the sack.
  32. I worked at the bank as a teller for a while…until I starting losing interest.
  33. I wanted to be a baker, really kneaded the dough.
  34. I focused on being a photographer, but nothing ever developed.

RELATED: Top Interview Blunders on Twitter.

By Jörgen Sundberg

CEO of Link Humans, download our new eBook now: Measuring Employer Brand: The Ultimate Guide.