Life Skills

I’d first like to point out I’m a true believer in the power of positivity. A negative mindset feeds itself and makes matters worse. In most cases it’s better to give people the benefit of the doubt; after all, no one’s perfect. Nitpicking is a toxic activity…

I also believe self-reflection is an important part of spreading joy and positivity. Are you doing all you can to make the office a better place? Let’s now engage in a special exercise, whereby we check ourselves against some annoying habits, with a view to improve. Be honest, are you guilty of the following? (Caution: sarcasm, grumpiness and severe intolerance present throughout).

1. Eating smelly lunches at the desk

Salmon is great, isn’t it? Full of Omega 3 and so tasty. Much like tuna actually. Eggs are also a scrumptious lunch choice. They all go well inside a bread roll… and a LUNCHBOX. A lunchbox that stays in the kitchen and nowhere near me or my work station. Thank you.

2. Enjoying loud snacks ALL DAY

I love a good carrot. What I don’t love is listening to Woody Woodpecker finish 18 of the orange delights every day. You make that jackhammer outside sound pleasant.

3. Talking really loudly on the phone

That’s so sad that David just cancelled that meeting last minute. Also, I’m genuinely gutted for you that Sarah bombed out in her interview. I find the best way to deal with bad news is to talk quietly on your mobile device in a place that doesn’t disturb my work.

4. Listening to loud music through headphones

Justin Bieber really has made an amazing comeback. I know you agree with me because he’s all you listen to; your headphones are extremely loud. His new tracks are great, but so is hearing myself think.

5. Complaining about a cold

You really are a hero for coming in today, you look and sound dreadful. With a bit of luck I’ll catch it off you and we can both moan together. #twinning

6. Being a Goldilocks about the office temperature

Too hot, too cold, too hot, too cold. The air is not porridge. Repeat after me: put jumper on if cold, take jumper off if hot. Problem solved.

6. Copying other people’s outfits

I saw you eyeing off my pinstripe trousers last week, and now I see you eyeing your reflection as you walk past reception in your new getup, telling Sally how ‘stripes are in again’. No, just no. Stripes are my thing and we can’t have matching outfits.

7. Asking too many pointless questions

There is something extremely satisfying about working things out for yourself, or consulting Old Mate Google. ‘Nuff said.

8. Assuming things without checking

I know what you’re thinking. “I can’t win, you just said stop asking too many questions’. And yes, yes I did. But there is a difference between conducting your own research, and assuming things and getting them wrong.

9. Whinging about hangovers

You went out and had a great night, that’s so lovely. What’s that? Too much alcohol got you feeling a little queezy this morning? Allow me to pour you a cup of concrete because it’s time to harden up. As if you are surprised. Now pop a Berocca and crack on.

10. Calling unnecessary meetings

My time is valuable. Let’s not over-formalise something we could just speak about in the kitchen while making coffees.

11. Sending spammy emails

I don’t need to be CC’d into every email you send. I also don’t need to be kept up to date on everything you do. And I DEFINITELY don’t need you to email me when you sit literally 5 desks away. I can hear you breathing right now. I could poke you with my pen without even moving my chair, that’s all I’m saying.

12. Putting things in diaries without consent

If you have the privilege of viewing my diary, do not abuse it. I was going to get my hair cut on Thursday morning, and thanks to your random last-minute training session I’ve had to reschedule to a time outside of working hours.

… Rant over 🙂

About Phoebe Spinks

Phoebe is the editor of Undercover Recruiter & Senior Account Executive at Link Humans.

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