Career Management

Starting a new job is a pretty exciting time. No matter how cool, calm and collected you try to be about the whole thing, the reality is, your whole world is about to be tipped upside down… hopefully for the best! A huge chunk of your waking hours is spent working and whether you like it or not, work will often assume spotlight at the centre of your universe.

Generally speaking, actually securing a new role is no mean feat – from application through interviews to offer and beyond, you’ve beaten the odds. Signing the dotted line and resigning isn’t a decision you would’ve taken lightly. By now you’ve probably thought of every possible reason to both decline and accept your new job offer, before finally coming to a conclusion that meets your best interests. The reality is, though, that you are only working on promises, gut feeling and a bunch of unknowns… how grateful we’d be to have just a little bit more information. A crystal ball would be handy, too!

It’s inevitable that there’ll always be ‘exciting’ (read: shocking / surprising) things for you to learn on the job; pieces of information that didn’t quite make it into your induction pack, or warrant being brought up mid interview. Some of these warnings wouldn’t have turned you away necessarily, but gosh, wouldn’t it have been nice if you were at least given a heads up? Here are the 10 warnings / disclaimers that are totally going to be left out of your induction pack, but mark my words, you’ll learn sooner or later:

People won’t get back to you when they say they will

This goes for stakeholders, clients, colleagues… your manager. The office is bound to be full of over-promising and under-delivering, despite the exact opposite being written into the company’s official values on your intranet page.

Competitive behaviour exists internally

The people here are great! No I’m serious, they really are, but dearie me, when push comes to shove and promotion season comes around… watch out. Work with one eye open, that’s all. Preferably both.

Your work friends will leave you cold and alone

You’ll make really, really great friends with a couple of your colleagues, which is great! And then sooner or later, they’ll move on to pastures new, just as you’ve done, and leave you.

Your colleagues are a total mixed bag

As I said, your colleagues are a really great bunch of people… well, most of them. Come to think of it, there are actually a few people who will probably drive you absolutely up the wall, sorry.

Those who work the longest, not the hardest, often get the glory

You’ll constantly be told to foster work/life balance and allow yourself time to switch off. But then you’ll also start to notice that the people in earliest, leaving latest are idolised by management, regardless of the fact their long hours are due to their constant YouTubing.

You’ll be made to feel guilty for taking proper lunch breaks

Again, your personal time is valued and you deserve to have ample break time. Just a word of warning though, when you do take a proper break from your desk, you’ll be made to feel like you just siphoned money from the company credit card and bought yourself a new house.

The workplace isn’t a fair playing field

You can try all you like to fight for what’s fair, however things will regularly fall into the ‘are you kidding me?’ category.

Mistakes make you human annoying

You’ll always be encouraged to try new things and push the boundaries, ‘be daring, be bold’! However when you slip up, you’ll absolutely know about it! Still be daring and bold, just don’t make a mistake.

Expectations can get super unrealistic

You’ll get to the end of the month, or deadline time, and you’ll almost certainly be gifted with completely unrealistic expectations. At times you’ll wonder if someone is having you on to see if they can break you, but they aren’t; they’re seriously expecting those ludicrous outcomes.

… Now if you could just sign here; welcome on board!


About Phoebe Spinks

Editor of Undercover Recruiter & Senior Account Executive at Link Humans, a recruitment marketing agency.

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