The fundamental truth in life is that you should surround yourself with people who show you respect, collaborate with you to achieve your goals and embrace success.
I make it sound so easy; yes, let’s just get rid of those people who make us feel low, criticise us for small failures, don’t accept us for who we are.
My personal inspiration is 5 years old
I spent a few days with my family in London recently who care for my nephew; a brave yet vulnerable child who has many medically challenging and life threatening conditions.
I always come away from spending time with them feeling inspired by how my brother and sister in law work tirelessly to get him the best care available; no stone unturned to unveil the latest technology to unlock my nephew from his disabilities. The way they work as a unit ensuring no matter what problems they face, they are a team.
My sister in law is a child psychologist who works in art therapy, allowing children who have experienced emotional trauma to convey their feelings through drawings. She is a very wise lady who along with my brother, has been the force behind my nephew’s incredible journey from palliative care to actually being told by their consultant recently that he is defying their predictions and has a good and viable quality of life. I have seen it for myself and am in absolute awe at their tenacity and proactiveness.
We win some, we lose some
As I have got older, I have “lost” some friends and family relationships (through my choice) along the way; people who have been “fair weather”, unable to deal with the stressful components of life; judging me when I did not need their judgement, more so I needed their support. Or we just grew apart with little holding us together except possibly blood or history, which I know is not enough to maintain a healthy relationship that is reciprocal.
I have learnt this is not enough
And when I think about what makes a successful business partnership, it is all of these factors too and these are the 3 most important elements:
We have to spend more hours with those we work with than our nearest and dearest so we should absolutely choose who we work with by whether we like them. Why is this never discussed openly! I often don’t represent a candidate if we instantly dislike each other- it is very rare, I hasten to add; and I make no bones about it!
Do I feel like I can trust my colleague/employer to have pastoral care for me; to develop my career, be honest with feedback, behave with integrity? If I don’t trust them, how can the relationship work? It can’t. The same goes for working with clients- if they break my trust even once, I can’t be their ambassador.
We may not have exactly the same goals in work; some people are motivated by success in other ways than say just money, however, working together to achieve a shared purpose is the best way for a team to operate. This is why a mission statement or a values proposition is vital.
I think in a work context, a lot of people are charlatans and do not reveal their real selves. I have learned from my time with my brother and family that you are best to be your honest self; show your weaknesses if you have to. Be authentic you. Don’t just come to work. Emerse yourself in the team, the culture, the business. Employers- allow yourself to be observed in this context to. Knowing that your boss has similar feelings and issues is a way to break down barriers and get people to open up.
Push yourself out of your comfort zones. Don’t regret not take chances- seize opportunities but equally, create chances for other people too. Be altruistic, if feels good to do something for no personal gain for yourself and it may create a karma effect …
Be kind to people. I have always maintained that I am a “nice” recruiter- I am not bullish, I do not manipulate people, I care about what I do. I withdraw people from processes if it doesn’t feel right. And I hope that shows in how I operate my business. Be true to yourself.
I am only in my early 40s but I feel a sense of calm as I get older, that the wisdom I am learning is to be shared amongst my peers and my network. I realise this blog is less about recruitment and business and more about life, but you see, for me, my recruitment business is a massive part of my life and you know the old cliché “ find a job you love and you will never have to work a day in your life”. And that is how I feel (most days ha!)
I wonder what wisdoms you can share with us all; have I set the 3 elements correctly, do you think? What tips of enlightenment can you share which you have learned along your life journey?
Thank you for reading and if anyone is interested to participate in a more meaningful recruitment relationship, please do get in touch with me @LyshaHolmes.
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