Life Skills

Well, I am VERY far from perfect. In fact, the only thing I do perfectly is imperfections.

So, this list is more about ideas, and thoughts and ways of living life. Some is original, some is stolen and some is just nonsense. I don’t know I am just letting it flow.

I will give attribution if I remember where I heard or read it. Most is stuff my friends, acquaintances, frenenmies and enemies have heard me repeat, ad nauseum, through the years. Sorry about that! I was inspired by John Perry Barlow’s list of suggestions for being an adult, on his ascension to 30.

Oh, and as to why is this on the Undercover Recruiter – being a good person in life will always make you better at your job. In 2014, the lines are so much more blurred between your life and your career than they were in 1975. Also, Jorgen has been on my back as I haven’t written anything in a long time…

And with that, some s**t that I hope makes sense:

  1. If someone offers you a mint, you take it. That means even if you aren’t hungry; even if one thin after dinner mint will make you explode. Yeah, your breath is probably fine. Just in case, eat the mint.
  2. Never ask if a woman is pregnant. NEVER. Even if the kid is crowning. Heck, if a goddamn hand is sticking out of her yoni. You don’t ask.
  3. Accept people for who they are and you will never be disappointed in what they do.
  4. [REMOVED FOR DECENCY. Naughty Jeff… – Editor]
  5. If it grows from the ground, you’re probably OK. Pills and powders just stay away!
  6. “Every man is like the moon; We all have a dark side we show no one else” – Mark Twain
  7. “Beware fighting monsters lest you become one” – Nietchze
  8. Putting people in boxes is one step from putting them away in coffins.
  9. “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” – John Lennon
  10. “Says it costs a lot to win, and even more to lose” – Robert Hunter
  11. “Fair doesn’t mean everyone gets the same” – My Mom
  12. Marriage isn’t a 50/50 deal. It works best at 100/100
  13. “Enjoy every sandwich” – Warren Zevon
  14. “He who isn’t busy being born is busy dying”  – Bob Dylan
  15. “All things are true, all things are false and all things are meaningless” – Robert Anton Wilson
  16. “It’s hard to be humble when you know you’re great” – Frank Lloyd Wright
  17. “Abstinence is the most peculiar of all the perversions” – Oscar Wilde
  18. It is better to apologize for having done something than apologize for not having done something.
  19. “Time is a face on the water” – Stephen King
  20. “This too shall pass” – Lots of people, but for me, I always hear it on my Grandpa’s voice
  21. All inequality comes back to inequality of opportunity. Given a chance everyone would rise to the best they can accomplish
  22. If there is a water shortage, go with… [Jeff…. – Editor]
  23. [AGAIN – REMOVED. Jeff! – Editor]
  24. All luck is backed up by a lot of hard work. If you’re working real hard and still unlucky, well, that sucks. But it’s still luck. Sorry. See 20 and 33 and 32 and… well a bunch on this list.
  25. Karma grinds very fine but it also grinds very slow.
  26. Whatever energy a person puts out into the world, be it positive or negative, will be returned to that person three times. – Wiccan Law of Threes
  27. Ghosts, ESP, Telekinesis— All that stuff is real- It’s just science we don’t understand yet. Like if you drove a car down the road in 1770’s London
  28. “For every expert, there is an equal and opposite expert” – Arthur C. Clarke
  29. It isn’t simply chaos vs. order. There is good chaos and bad chaos and there is good order and bad order.
  30. Entropy is 100% true, or in Princess Leia’s words the more star systems you seize, the more will slip through your fingers
  31. Smiles are like herpes. If you share it, it will keep on spreading ad infinitum with no end in sight
  32. Yiheyeh Tov—(Hebrew for It will be OK). Promise. See number 20
  33. Nichevo – 9 – Russian, with a plurality of meanings.)  Somewhere between shit happens and It cannot be helped with more than a hint of fatality to it.
  34. Everything is art if looked at the right way
  35. The glass is always half full— sometimes, however, it is half full of poison
  36. “You could wake up dead tomorrow” – Homer Simpson
  37. “People miss opportunities because when it knocks its wearing overalls and looks like work” – Thomas Edison
  38. Pepto Bismol should be carried at all times in chewable form.
  39. If you take something out of your wallet, don’t put your wallet back into your pants (or purse) until that item is returned.
  40. De Facto and De Jure. Learn and know the difference. It’s important.

About Jeff Newman

Jeff Newman a.k.a. The People's Recruiter, has been a Full Life Cycle IT Recruiter and Full Desk Placement expert for over 14 years. He prides himself on always making sure that what he is offering a candidate is an Opportunity and not just another job. He is a Senior Talent Acquisition Specialist at Mobiquity. Watch Jeff live on stage: "Recruiters: The Good, The Bad, and the Devious."

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